What we won't cook.
In a kitchen, “86” means we're out — strike it from the menu. Here's our standing list. We publish it so the right engagements find us faster, and the wrong ones save themselves a discovery call.
✦ Tonight's 86 list ✦
86 = OUT · do not promise
- 86
WordPress migrations
There are people who love this work. We aren't them, and you deserve someone who is.
- 86
Pure paid-ads accounts
We'll build the landing pages, the agent, and the post-click experience — but we don't run the spend. Pair us with a media buyer.
- 86
Retainers under $6,000 / month
Below this we can't put a senior pair on it, and below that line the work isn't us.
- 86
Strategy decks without execution
We ship operating systems. If the engagement ends at a deck, you hired the wrong studio.
- 86
AI for AI's sake
If the business works better without the model in the loop, we'll say so. Tools are means, not the menu.
- 86
SEO miracles in 30 days
Authority compounds — it doesn't materialise. We'll show you the curve, not lie about the velocity.
- 86
Generic content farms
Pumping 200 templated blog posts is the fastest way to torch a domain in 2026. We won't help you do it.
- 86
Fractional CMO work
We run a kitchen, not a chair at your standup. There are excellent fractional CMOs — go hire one and bring us the build work.
- 86
MVPs that stay MVPs
We build for production. If the goal is a throwaway prototype, you don't need us; you need a weekend.
- 86
Crypto, gambling, MLM
Personal call. We don't take this work. No hard feelings — best of luck elsewhere.
- 86
Six-week procurement RFPs
We're a 3-person studio. A 60-day procurement process means our team will be on the next engagement before we sign yours.
- 86
Cookie banners as a deliverable
Just kidding. Mostly.
— the kitchen
Not on this list?
Then we're probably cooking your dish.
The fastest way to know — and to come into the conversation with context — is the Scorecard.